Online Dating and You

“With great power comes great responsibility” can be readily applied to most situations, especially our sexual escapades. We as queer men are more open about our sexuality than our heterosexual counterparts and should therefore be better about communicating our needs and wants… in bed. Perhaps I’ll draft a comprehensive review of the etiquette of online encounters, but for now I’ll start with the basics. The two most important elements of any relationship – whether that is with a random hookup, friends with benefits, or partner – are honesty and communication.

I’m sure we’ve all come across a profile of someone to whom we are attracted and finally decide to meet only to find that, between your last message and their arrival, they’ve aged fifteen years, shrank in height, and changed ethnicity. As a frequent user of these websites, one that I really appreciate is dudesnude. Unlike other “dating” websites, they have a verification feature which allows users to confirm their identity by submitting a picture of themselves holding up a handwritten verification code for website administrators to approve.

While I don’t limit myself to exclusively interacting with verified profiles, it is good to know that the person on the other side of the screen is who they claim to be. The Internet is too full of nonsense, so one really can’t take enough precautions. It’s odd how the presence of a computer screen causes some to forget common sense and the general social interaction. There is no reason to send a rude, condescending, or hateful message to someone who doesn’t respond to you in the way you hoped. There are plenty of other online profiles to choose from, so move on to the next person who might just be interested.

It’s astounding how we have access to romance, friendships, casual sex, and networking at the tips of our fingers. There is a smart phone application for everything these days. But upon finding the perfect description of or chatting with Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now, how can you ensure that your online chemistry and sparks will fly when you finally meet in person? It’s on you to have a good time. Never be shy about conveying your likes and dislikes with your partner. Consent is sexy and discussing your interests, kinks, and fetishes makes for great foreplay while getting everyone on the same page.

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